Jason Madison Murray

This is one of my favorite pictures.  Jason studied so very hard.  School is one of the most important things in his life.  He truely wanted to be a Registered Nurse and recently he had been talking about going on to become a Nurse Practioner.  He would have made it.  I have no doubt!!!  Jason's pinning and graduation is coming up this month.  Man, I sure wish he was here to accept it.  I'm very very proud of him.  As I know we all are.  Back to the picture.  It's taken in our bedroom, before he got his very own study room.  He sure loves his laptop.  He would lay in bed next to me at night with it & study or learn about the End Times.  I had found so many christian, inspiring web sites that he has been looking at.  The Cardinals hat he is wearing still smells like him a bit, and I find myself sleeping in one of his Cardinals shirts alot.  It makes me feel closer to him.  The towels are on the windows because Jason works so hard at night and sleeps during the day.  He likes it absolutely dark.  But, you know, the noise level never bothered him.  The kids could make all kinds of racket, he never noticed.  The kids used to argue over who got to wake Daddy up.  I had to make them take turns.  It really made them feel special.  Daddy would love on them for a few minutes before he got up.  Sometimes, I got to do it too.  Only if it was my turn.  :)  Jason, I will love & miss you for the rest of my life.  Then I'll be with

 

you again. 

Jeannie gave me this picture.  I know how much Jeannie & John Brian will always be hurting.  Jason, their love for you is tremendous!!  I'll be praying for them & their families always.

Sweetie, I was thinking about how sweet our kids are.  And how sweet you are with them.  Remember the time I was having a tea party with Miranda.  You & Uncle Kevin & Ty were outside working on something.  No telling what, you guys were always outside pilfering with something. :)  Miranda ran out on the front porch hollering for you guys to come in and have a tea party with them.  Well, that's all it took, you & Kevin heard the word TEA!!  You both came in & sat right down.  Miranda was so excited.  Ty just wanted ya'll to hurry up so he could go back outside.  She served REAL tea & little cakes.  You guys gobbled them up.  & when you drank the tea, you always put your pinkies out.  You said you were royalty.  I'm sure your crown is full of jewels in Heaven.  Your Mama always tells me you are her precious jewel.  She is so right.  Miranda really liked looking at these pictures tonight.  She said that she misses playing with you.  Mostly tickling your feet and wrestling with you.  Babe, please help God watch over her tonight while she sleeps & only give her sweet dreams.  She loves you so very much.  I love you too!!

 

I miss you more & more every day.  It's so hard to really grasp that you really aren't going to walk through our front door again.  The kids & I are slowly carrying on, but man, it's really hard.  Our whole life revolved around you.  Still does.  Babe, we are off to church, wish you were here for us to wake up when we got home, to discuss the service, eat lunch, study with, live with.  Miranda says to tell God hi & we are going to sing for him today.

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!

Jace, I just got home.  I hate coming home without you here.  I remember every Popcorn Friday.  Kyle & Miranda still in school, and Tyler at Aunt Vicky's.  We had the house to ourselves for a couple of hours.  I really miss spending that special alone time with you.  Friday afternoons will always be special to me.  Well, I made a big pot roast & all the fixins for your buddies at the Ambulance Shed.  I'm gonna go take it to them.  Babe, I miss you so much.  Life will never ever be anywhere near normal again without you here.  I LOVE YOU!!!

Sweetie, sorry it's taken me so long to re-write this memory.  (I thought I posted it this morning before I took the kids to school, but I guess I forgot to hit send.) It's been a crazy day.  Well, every day for the last 86 have been crazy.  & alot before that too.  :)We all went to Sis's band concert last night.  I don't know if her talent is from you or Christie, but man, she sure has it.  Not only on the sax, but her voice is out of this world.  I've never heard Christie sing, but your entire family is blessed with great singing voices.  When we first got together, you & Rissa would sing at church together.  It was the sweetest thing in the world.  Marissa sure has a great support system.  Her Mom & Jason are really good to her.  We are all so blessed to have Marissa in our lives.  When Tyler & Miranda first saw Marissa come out last night, their faces just lit up.  They really really love her.  She always takes time out to play with them.  Even when it's irritating.  She always plays every silly game they ask.  The cutest thing is when she is teaching Miranda cheers.  I remember how they used to put on Cheer shows for us.  Honey, Christie has been really great about still sharing Marissa with us.  I'm so very thankful for the friendship that the two of you have continued.  But, I'm most thankful for Marissa's love.  She is truely a shining star.  I have unconditional faith in her and love her like she really is my own.  She is a blessing from God.

 

Jason took this picture at a previous concert.  He has always been so proud of his little girl!!!  I am too!!!

Hey babe, I'm sure missing you.  I just hung up the phone with your cousin/my friend, Clarissa.  I'm so very thankful that she is your cousin.  But, I think I'm more thankful that she is one of my best friends.  I miss our families being able to spend time together.  There are so many memories of Clarissa being at our house.  Like every weekend for many many years (LOL).  One of my favorite memories is when she went to Las Margarita's with us. She wouldn't ever try anything new, unlike you.  You convinced her, well you gave her NO choice, to try something different.  She loved it.  You guys teased each other so much that night.  We stayed there laughing for about 2 hours.  Now, Clarissa is all growed up, married to a great guy, has a beautiful daughter, & lives half-way across the country.  We are really lucky to have Bobby, Clarissa, & Jaden in our lives, but I sure do hate them living so far away.  We are so excited about going to see them this summer.  Especially Kyle, he gets to stay longer than the rest of us.  BUT, he is NOT flying home.  I promise you Jason.  I just know that Clarissa will very graciously meet me half-way.  You were so excited about vacationing with them this July.  You wanted to see the oceans on both sides of the United States.  Now you can see it all!!!

 

Jason talked about Clarissa & Bobby alot.  As much as I hate them being so far away, Jason was filled with pride every time he talked to them.  (He would tell me when he got off the phone)  He was very proud of Bobby for being dedicated to his career in the Navy.  I remember one conversation we had after he had talked to both Bobby & Clarissa.  Jason said that Bobby was definately becoming a man.  He was being very responsible and was taking good care of his family.  He said that he was glad that Clarissa was staying home (that's really important to Jason) & taking care of Jaden & Bobby.  He told me that he was praying for them to find a good church to attend in Virginia and for Clarissa to take some kind of nursing class that she had always dreamed of.  Honey, please keep a close eye on them.  Keep them safe while they are so far away from family. 

                                                    I LOVE YOU!!!!!

Jason,      I went to stay at your house with the family the last couple of nights and I just had to write to say it was very hard for me to be around all your pictures and memories and in your space without you there.  I have always said I thought that would be the hardest thing to have to deal with for Rose.  But in the three days that I stayed there, I realized that your wife is alot stronger than we ever gave her credit for before.  We thought she was just reserved and vulnerable, but we were wrong.  She's proven to me in three days that she has more strength than I could ever hope or dream to have.  As much as I know her soul aches and wrenches for you to be with her, she still wakes up every morning and gets the kids ready for the bus and takes care of Tyler and his broken leg (the last thing she needed in this horrific time of grief) and still manages to remember all the little daily chores that we all have to manage to get through our daily lives.  I see God surrounding her and comforting her, and right when she feels she can't go on and she has that momemtary lapse of strength and tears begin to roll down her cheeks, I see God lift her up with a memory of you, or a joke from a friend, or a demand from a child that gently moves her on to the next moment without you.  She does it with small little steps, but it just enough to help her rise above the daily challenges and crisis' she must face everyday without you.  On the day she had to take Ty to get his hard cast she woke up angry and sad.  And even though she didn't say a word to me, I know that she wanted you to be there with her to ease her burden and load.  Every day she realizes there is one more thing she will have to do without you, and it kills me to not be able to wave my magic wand and make all the hurt, pain, sorrow, and most especially lonliness go away.  I want her to be able to wake up and have you by her side again where you belong.  I want her to have her son's daddy with her to help him throw his birthday party's.  But I have no magic wand, I have nothing but my undying friendship for both you and her that will let her know I will always be there for her.  And most importantly that we both have God to turn to and depend on when we feel we can't go any further, and we have you as a guardian angel watching over us all.  And since your wife has so valiantly fought this past three months, I was wondering if you couldn't put in a word for her with the big boss and see if he can't give her a break.  To somehow, someway let her know that she is a truly beautiful person both inside and out.  And that she is protected and covered by God's love and he will never let her falter.  Jason, let her feel your smile from heaven and know that you think she is doing the best job she can under the circumstances.  I miss you Jason, very much.  But I know my sadness only pales in comparison to how much Rose misses and needs you in her life.  Let her feel you, she needs to know you are on her side and routing for her as much as I am.  Until I see you again, Love Kim.

Jason, I Love You & Miss You So Much!!!!

My Love For You Is Eternal!!!!

 

 

Always,

Your Loving Wife,

Rose

Sweetie, we love & miss you so much more than I could ever write or even attempt to express!!!   I Love You!!!!