Jason Madison Murray

Jace, I will never forget the day this picture was taken.  You were so excited.  You said you could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  That Nursing school is winding down.  Oh my gosh, you were already worried about boards.  You said you were nervous, but anxious for us to be alone together when we went to take them.  We were already getting our study guides together to prepare for boards.  I still think you should be here studying.  Helping others was your life.  You wanted so bad to get your NP.  I have total complete faith in you, babe.  You would've done great!!!  I'm really praying for your classmates.  Sometimes, I get really upset about you being in school so much.  School took you away from us so much.  Even though you were in the bedroom studying.  You barely had time for your kids, much less anything else.  I am so glad you always took time out to eat dinner with us and say prayers together as a family at bedtime.  I don't know what to say to the kids when they are mad because you can't do something with them.  They say that you told them "later", and now that later will never happen here on earth.  We all just thought there would be so much more time after school got out.  How do I deal with their anger?  I tell them you still love them very much, you just really wanted to be a Nurse and help people.

Remember how proud you were to get your Medic liscense.  Joplin, MO will always be a special place.  I'm so very proud of you!!  You were a great provider and leader for our family.   I'll forever be grateful.  I'm also thankful that you let me stay home with the kids.  Especially since Ty does not want to ride the bus.  Who can blame him.  We swore he would never ride that bus again, & he won't!! 

I loved the afternoons after school when you would bring me lunch and we would have the afternoon alone together.  Wow!!  We were really blessed!!  I could go on forever, but we have sunday school early in the morning.  I just wanted to share this picture with everyone.  I really want to put this picture on your little brothers web page, but I posted your handwritten notes from Proverbs and it has been deleted, so I think that maybe John doesn't want anything on there from us.  I won't post it, but I will give one to Mom & Dad to make sure everyone can see it.  The other picture is really awesome, but this one is my favorite.  Because this is how you always smiled at me.  I miss you so much that I don't know how to put it into words!! 

I love you baby!!!

POPCORN FRIDAY!!!  Man, we miss you.  Remember when we all went and popped & bagged all the popcorn for all of 1st grade this last December.  It was so much fun.  You, me, Clarissa, and my Mom popped what seemed like a million bags of popcorn.  Miranda was so proud.  She told everyone at the movie that her Dad & Mom made the popcorn. The other day she listed almost every time  you were at her school for her.  You have always been so supportive for all of the kids.  We have been blessed.

I'm very happy for you to be in Heaven, but I've been bummin about the future.  Every school function you won't be at.  The answers you would have given your sons for their problems.  Chasing off boys who aren't good enough for your daughters.  4 graduations.  Walking Marissa & Miranda down the aisle.  Standing up with Kyle & Tyler when they find their special someone.  I pray every day that each one of the kids will find someone just as wonderful as their Daddy is.  Honey, Christie & I will do our best, but your shoes can never be filled.

We all love & miss you so much.

Jason, I was reading your bible tonight and found some great verses marked.  I love to read your bible.  It makes me still feel close to you.  I treasure your bible most out of all of your things.  Remember us studying these verses together.  It is Psalm 145. 

     1 I will extol thee, my God, O king; and I will bless thy name forever and     ever. 

     2 Every day I will bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever.

     3 Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable

     5 I will speak of the glorious honour of thy majesty, and of thy wonderous

        works.

I remember how we discussed that praising God should always be at the forefront of our lives.  Our Lord surely is Great.  I'm sure your crown is filled with many jewels.  You spent so much of your time here on earth ministering to people.  I am so blessed to have your love and the love of God.

I love you so very much!!!

 

Wow i fully agree with Rose, life really is crazy down here Jason! People have changed so much its scary, you dont know who to trust anymore or who you even really know anymore! You would think in a time like this people would be pulling together as a family and not apart! This is when we need eachother the most and its just not happening that way! If you where here i know you would solve everything and certain things wouldn't be said and people wouldn't be doing the things they are doing! But i do know that i will be here for rose and the kids forever and nothing is going to change that! Boy i remember everytime Bobby and I came home and walked in your door you was so excited to see us! Its going to suck not having you there to welcome us anymore and no more wonderful and peaceful boat rides anymore! Im so glad that the last time we where home this past summer that i made you take me out on the boat and we all got out and jumped in the river and just floated! Remember me having some serious issues getting back in the boat lol you just laughed at me cause i couldn't get back in! you had to get in before me so that the boat would be level! Gosh you knew so much about that river and i will cherish those times that we had at the river cause ya know it will never be the same without you EVER! Jason, Rose misses you so much and she has so much on her plate right now, she is doing better than she thinks she is mainly cause she has to be strong for the kids and they miss you so much too and i promise that i will always talk about you to them to help keep your memory alive! Memories last FOREVER!! I wish we could have you instead of the memories but that wasn't Gods plan and as bad as that really sucks we have to except the fact that God needed you up there! I also remember our countless hours of talking about the future and what i wanted to do and i remember telling you before i graduated that i wanted to be a nurse and boy you talked about that for hours with me about what i would need to do and the things that come along with it!! We talked about finances cause you didn't want me and bobby getting in to deep to fast, you where like a financial advisor lol! And i appreciated every bit of advice that you gave to us! I also remember you telling me one time that you knew how much Rose did and that you appreciated her for that and that you knew you could be mean at times but its only cause you where worried about school and you told me how much you loved her and that everything would be different once you got out of school! ( she loves hearing that story, thats why i wrote it!) Well i don't want to write everything in this one memory but i have plenty more!! I love you Jason more than every and miss you so very much!

 

Just thinkin about you.  Remember when  we helped put new linoleum down in Mom & Dad's kitchen.  We had only been married about a year.  The whole family was there.  It took you men forever to figure out the exact perfect way that it needed to be done.  But once we got started it went really well.  It was so much fun.  You pulled me around by my feet on the floor to help it seal.  I'll never forget the first time I met everyone at your Mom & Dad's house.  Everyone was really cool.  I miss those times.  Remember when you, JB, & Uncle Kevin put in our dishwasher.  We all quit fighting over who had to wash the dishes.  Wow, that was an adventure.  Or building the new porch.  Perfection was so important.  That truly was an adventure.  Man, I'm gonna miss running over to Uncle Kevin & Aunt Vicky's just because a lawn mower broke down and you needed to watch Kev fix it.  The surround sound you got for Christmas and couldn't figure out.  Kevin came right over, you almost had it fixed, but then ya'll had to watch TV together to make sure it was just right.  I know I'm writing on here a lot, but I love remembering.   I Love You Jason!!

I have found these verses handwritten many times in Jason's personal things.  Some my most treasured memories of Jason are talking with him about God's word.  I just wanted to share them with everyone who loves Jason.  It's chapter 3 in the book of Proverbs if it can't be seen very well.

Jason, I love you so very much.

 

Hey sweetie,  constantly thinking of you.  Life is Crazy.  I can't wait to be with you in Heaven.  I went to the cemetary this morning after I dropped the kids off at school.  I miss you.   Tyler drew me a picture of us at school today.  It is precious. 

I am going through some of our sentimental things and this card was at the top of our hopechest.  I marked out some of the intimate stuff.  It's too personal.  It was from Valentine's day last year.  You had just went back to Nursing school after break.  You said you wanted me to know how much you hated being away from home.  You said the kids & I were the most important things in your world (besides God, obviously).  Honey, I'll never forget that Valentine's night.  Or any night we spent together.  I am so glad that we had so many wonderful times together.  The Lord is still the most important thing in our lives.  HE will always remain the Ruler of our Lives.

I love you baby,

Rose

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

Just wanted to tell you I love you.  Life is just crazy without you here.  I'm praying every day for God to intervene in our lives and calm things down.  I will do my very best to keep a Christian heart like yours. 

Honey, I just miss you so much.  I miss all the times you held me and whispered sweet nothings in my ear.  I miss the way you love to kiss my neck.  I miss all the sweet secrets we shared.  I miss praying with you.  I miss waking up next to you every day and holding you as you fell asleep on Saturdays & Sundays.  You always said you could sleep better if I were laying on your shoulder.  I will always remember every second of every day we shared. We've never been away from each other this long.  45 days.  It feels like yesterday, other times I'm still in denial.

The time we spent together on that Tuesday night is priceless, and I'm so thankful for the way you woke me up that Wednesday morning.  And I will never forget the way you held me at the car and the sweet hug and your loving kisses.  It's the only way I get to sleep at night. Just remembering our love and the uncountable times we held each other.  Honey, it's late and I think maybe I have wore myself out enough to go to bed.  I'm going to think of one of our most special memories together as I fall asleep and then that will be in my dreams as I sleep.  I'll ask God to tell you which one.  We can remember it together.  I feel so close to you when I am praying.  Please watch over our family, keep us strong in the faith, and banish the devil from our lives. 

 

Sweetie, I Love You!! 

Your faithful wife,

Rose

Aunt Juley gave us this poem when we married.  She is sooo smart.  We are blessed that we have always included God in our marriage.  I just want to (one more time) thank God (and Mom & Dad) for bringing Jason into this world.  Our time together is Priceless.  I can't wait until we get to be together again. 

 

Thank You to Mom & Dad Murray

& Thank You to God